True Heartbreak
by SingingIntrovert
Summary: Of all the questions Qrow had for Ozpin, of all the accusations he wanted to make, only one word remained consistent in his mind: Why? (Implied Cloqwork/Ozqrow)(V6CH4 Spoilers)


A blizzard blew outside, shaking everyone to the core. The fireplace only served as a small source of heat in the frozen house. Qrow tended to the flames alone while the others slept. Well, as much as they could at least, with what they were going through.

Qrow was angry. An emotion that had sparked from all the other smaller feelings in his heart. Confusion, betrayal, sadness, fear. All of the came together into a burning rage that had led him to act without thinking. The second his fist had made contact with Oscar's cheek, regret had been added to the pile. His hands shook from the raw emotions that ran rampant through his mind, squeezing his heart to the point that it hurt.

Qrow drank until his flask was empty, and it still wasn't enough. In this case, he could get completely black-out wasted and it still wouldn't satisfy him. He hadn't felt like this for a long time: unable to catch up with his own emotions, leading him into a confused mess. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

But this time it was different. This wasn't the loss of life, but the complete shattering of trust. He had so many questions and accusations for the Ozpin, but it all came down to one word.

 _Why?_

Cold air crept through the cracked window of the house, sending a chill down Qrow's spine. He grumbled and stood up to slam it shut, the sound echoing through the nearly empty house. He shouldn't be making too much noise, but _Gods_ did he want to break something right now.

He decided against it, however, settling to step outside for a brief moment and collected an armful of pinecones to throw into the fire. It gave him something to focus on and made for a decent firewood substitute.

Watching a pinecone slowly burn into a charred skeleton, Qrow couldn't help but think about that man. That painfully wonderful man, who'd given him so much to live for.

But it was all for nothing. And Ozpin knew that, didn't he? He knew that Qrow wouldn't figure it out. He was reckless and foolish, after all, so how could he? He was just another pawn in his ploy, his impossible war against Salem that would eventually kill him and _oh my gods Raven was right how could I have been so stupid-_

" _My dusty old crow."_

Qrow tossed another pinecone in the fire, clenching his jaw as he focused on the thin wood crumble to ashes before him. Anything to take his mind off of the times before. Times of kindness and reassurance. Times where his voice would make his heart skip a beat. Times where the sound of his voice was the most comforting sound in the world. Times of laughter and promises and a tenderness that the huntsman had never felt with anyone before-

 _Gods fucking damn it._

Qrow growled under his breath, clenching his fists. His emotions were beginning to turn against him, his anger pointed at himself now. He was supposed to be furious with him for his lies, but he couldn't push away how much it _hurt_.

Gods, why couldn't he have been insufferable? Why couldn't he have given Qrow a reason to hate him so that he wouldn't hurt this much? Why couldn't he have trusted him? Why didn't he tell him?

 _Why why why why why-_

Qrow stood and shoved the rest of the pinecones in the fire, nearly dousing the flames entirely. He gripped his hair and held his chest, the pain becoming unbearable as his mind flooded with him.

His voice.

His smile.

His words.

His tears.

All of them directed at him.

" _I thought I was finally doing some good."_

" _But you_ are _!"_

Qrow's cheeks were warm and wet with tears as his throat clenched painfully, his breathing coming out in coughing sobs. He sank to his knees as the fire died in front of him. He hoped that the howling wind outside would drown out the sounds of him breaking down because he couldn't believe that the man he'd come to love for so long had been giving him false hope-

Qrow was outright sobbing now, no longer able to hide behind anger and frustration. All he could think about how insignificant he must be to Ozpin. All they'd been through, did it even mean anything? Would it mean anything if he'd died? Would Ozpin have mourned him? Or was he just another one of his pawns?

Heartbreak was as unfamiliar as it was painful, and Qrow _hated_ it. He hated the feeling and he hated that he was in so much pain over that wonderfully unpredictable man. He hated himself for being so vulnerable, and he hated himself for loving someone so much even though he knew they'd eventually leave him just like everyone else did-

"Uncle Qrow?"

Fuck.

Qrow didn't dare look behind him. He couldn't let Ruby see him so broken. It would frighten her.

He spoke, his voice weak and cracking, "Go back to bed, kid. You need sleep."

The footsteps making their way towards him said otherwise, however. Ruby sat on her legs next to Qrow and put a hand on his shoulder. Qrow didn't look up at her, but she could see his tear stained cheeks and how puffy his eyes were. She could see the inner turmoil her uncle was going through.

She saw and she understood.

Ruby gently wrapped her arms around Qrow's shoulders. She didn't force him into a hug, but simply reassured him that she was there for him.

Qrow was struggling to keep his breathing under control, but Ruby's silence spoke volumes.

" _I understand. Cry if you need to."_

So he did. Softer now, but he let the tears flow freely, placing a hand on Ruby's arm as a sign of appreciation. He'd make her promise not to tell the others later. Right now, he just wanted to get this out.

He wasn't sure how long they sat there in silence, but as Qrow began to regain his composure, he finally rose his head and glanced at Ruby, who smiled sadly back at him. He let out a long sigh and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. His voice was hoarse from crying when he spoke just above a whisper.

"Thanks, kiddo."

* * *

Oscar still couldn't feel Ozpin in his head. However, that night, he did have a brief moment in his dream where he saw a figure curled up in the dark corners of his mind, crying softly.


End file.
